There comes a time in everyone’s illness (or life in general), that you aren’t quite sure what is going to happen next. It seems like you have barked up every tree, exhausted every resource, and simply can’t find the answers to anything. Ultimately, you do not know what direction to take the next step, and are almost paralyzed in fear that if you do try and move forward, it won’t be the right way. Overall, it seems as though God simply does not want to give you answers to finding health, or whatever it is you are in search of at the moment. Because of how long of a journey it has been, you have almost come to expect this, and therefore are not necessarily surprised. We assume this is must just be how your life was supposed to be, and while this place is not necessarily bad, we must not forget one thing, and that is even though we may be at the end of the plan that we had mapped out, God’s is anything but finished.
When we have uncertainty of what the future might entail, we tend to forget the fact that God’s ways are completely separate from our resources and plans here on earth. Instead, we look at the unknown with sorrow, depression, confusion, and sometimes even anger, wondering why God can’t just answer our prayers now. When you are dealing with a chronic illness, you tend to always look for ways to advance your health, whether by going to doctors, getting treatments, or implementing your own supplements and protocols. While this is important, and definitely something God calls us to do, sometimes it just doesn’t seem to get us all the way. Suddenly, we are left with nothing to turn to from an earthly standpoint, and thus feel as though our journey has ended. Personally, I am in one of these states right now. For the past four years my family and I have been searching for answers to the effects of Chronic Lyme Disease. We have done every test in the book, spent tons of money, time, and energy to find the right doctors and treatments. While this has certainly been necessary, and has gotten me better than when we began, I am still here struggling, everyday, trying to make the best of my life despite the health issues that arise daily. Now, is it so wrong for me to want to be healthy again? Of course not. Yet the simple thought of my family and I being at our last stop shop, is heart wrenching. Of course, it is not to say that we are giving up on trying to find health, and we still do believe that there is answer behind all of my health complications. However, the fact of the matter is that beyond the current protocol I am doing right now, we don’t really have a plan.
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| Isaiah 58:11 |
Whether we know the future or not, we must always remember to trust God, and keep our eyes on Him. In doing so we can take another step in life regardless of the fact that we don’t know where it might bring us or what the outcome may be. We must also remember that though we don’t know what is coming, and that everything we thought we knew is said and done, God is not finished with us, or our life. Though all of our human and earthly resources may be empty and dry, God’s are forever abundant. He will finish what He has started in our life, and that includes not only seeing us through, but making something beautiful out of what we otherwise view as a disaster. Just because the goal we were reaching for may not be available to us right now, it doesn’t mean God won’t allow it to be later down the road, nor does it mean that He isn’t working on our behalf, right now, as we speak. When we whole heartedly believe this, moving forward in the unknown and taking a leap of faith, becomes possible, simply because we know God will be there to catch us. Not only will He be on the other end of the dark tunnel with awaiting arms, but He also will use that time of trusting to help us grow. Never once will we be asked to walk through something that He isn’t using towards bettering our life, and though we might not always have a plan as we are going through these moments, God does. Ultimately, His plan with our life is not over until He brings us home with Him, in heaven. In the meantime, God will grant us wisdom, find joy in our hearts, and ultimately be able brave the unknown with certainty in our soul that God’s hands are holding us, and that is all that matters. In the end, we are able to have strength and be bold to take another step forward.
Proverbs 16:9 “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps”
God is pretty amazing. I needed to read EXACTLY this today. I am feeling more discouraged than I ever have about my diseases.. I have epilepsy. I also have chronic thyroid disease, but they can’t figure out WHAT disease. The doctors were just going to kill my thyroid because of it being chronically diseased and having a goiter. I am not hyper or hypo. I do not have hashimoto’s. I asked them to let me try a lifestyle change before doing something permanent. The more I look into it, the more frustrated I become. I have every symptom of adrenal fatigue and several of Addison’s disease. The brain, thyroid and adrenal glands are all linked.. I wanted to curl up in bed and cry. I stumbled onto this post at just the right time, so THANK YOU for the awesome reminders.
All I can say is God bless you for sharing this….you are not alone.
God is good! Thank you for sharing these thoughts and for your lovely website. It has been helpful to me in my efforts toward healing. Blessings on you and your work!
These posts show a strength in you (and your faith in God) that goes far beyond the physical strength it takes to maintain “chronic” healing. I know this place well, where I find myself praying “what now??” Recently I heard that when we are praying and praying and don’t get an answer sometimes what God is telling us we are needing is patience. It’s been my experience that sometimes what I’m be directed to do is take a break from all the intensive healing and focus on more play or creative expression. Ultimately I trust that as long as I keep my faith there will come a point where I can look back and say, “yes, even then you absolutely were guiding me.” May you find the guidance you need, hang in there Gabriella! And thank you for this share.